On the Edge of Common Sense: Collected tidbits
By Baxter Black, DVM
Hector, a Columbian, married an American lady from Reno and became a citizen. One evening on the way home from a party they were pulled over. “Just a routine check, sir,” the officer explained, “For Driving Under the Influence. Hector walked the line, no problem. For the next test, as Hector understood it, was to ‘…take a blow’ on the back of the officer’s hand.
“How hard?” asked Hector, puzzled. “As hard as you can,” directed the law. Hector told me he took a deep breath, reared back and hit the officer’s outstretched hand so hard his handcuffs jingled!
An old timer came to help us pregnancy test last fall. He stood on the catwalk and helped push’em in. I asked him if he didn’t get tired of doin’ this. He said, “Son, when workin’ cows becomes a chore, I guess I’ll know I’m done.
When I look at the new cuts of tender lean meat, betterbeefsales.org and weaning calves bringing $2.50 a pound, I’m thinkin’ how ‘bout a $3 Checkoff!
Unemployment in Colorado is 8.3%. Last year the state paid many millions in unemployment checks. A Colorado produce grower reported that increased scrutiny on illegal aliens and red tape by the immigration department has depleted his supply of Mexican-born laborers. Last year he had to leave 10% of his vegetable crop unharvested, costing him $150,000. Asked about American workers he explained, “…only 10% are credible candidates and they seldom last through the season.” So much for the idea that we Americans are a proud, self-supporting, hard-working people.
A gentleman at a traffic stop in New Mexico was approached by a homeless man. The driver tried to wave the panhandler away but he shook his head and pointed to the front bumper. The driver rolled his window down and heard the homeless man say, “No! I have something for you. Your license about supporting cancer relief…I had lung cancer. I’m alive because of them!” Then he pulled out a wrinkled dollar bill and gave it to the driver. Hope, where it wasn’t expected.
The Food Network’s “Top Chef” promotes horsemeat as a “healthy choice.” France agrees.
A columnist reported of an isolated outback Australian ranch that suffered through nine years of drought. When it finally rained, it flooded the lake next to the house and the kids water-skied for the next 9 months! Concluded the columnist, “I guess the hardest thing to decide is when to buy a boat.”
A quote from Congress’ Minority Whip, “86% of the public thinks we’re not worth a warm bucket of spit.” What?! Only 86%?!
In spite of the efforts of non-believers and Hollywood, church attendance continues to increase. Just more people putting their money where their heart is.